I just read a post from a "couple" on a Yahoo Group where we are members both online and in person at their on-premise parties. I get irritated when people use the message boards of a specific group for:
(1) hookups outside of the sponsored parties...come on, the owners of the group do a lot of work and go to a lot of expense, the least you can do is support them and/or
(2) basic stupidity and rudeness in their posts and emails.
An explanation: If you have been told by another couple or single female that you "don't click" or "don't see a fit" (both "lines" we have used, because quite honestly we did not find the couple-one or both halves-attractive, either sexually or socially), then accept it graciously and move on. Just as in the heterosexual world, not every girl is attracted to every guy and vice versa.
We, like the majority of swingers, are not looking to "date" anyone or looking to replace each other by "playing". That's polyamory, isn't it?
"Friends First" to me means that you want to chat with us online, trade pictures, possibly meet us and "get to know" each other before sex is even considered. While we're not really looking for friends, we have found some GREAT ones (not to mention some absofuckinglutely HOTTT ones). We enjoy sex and we enjoy sex with others. The best sex is always with each other, though. Our primary goal to get into swinging was and still is to have mind-blowing sex with women; yes, I'm truly bi-sexual and love sex with women, and, of course, my guy B is in to women. The guys, if they're good, are icing on the cake. Lately, I've had some GREAT icing, too! Thanks guys (and you KNOW who you are)!
The biggest turn-on to us is your mind and your attitude. We have been contacted by plenty of couples (and single females) that have no finesse whatsoever. Some we've met, although we're getting better at weeding people out -sorry to sound harsh- and NOT wasting each other's time. They send or post really bad photos, have little to say and are, I'm sorry to be so blunt, but have little intelligence as evidenced by their profiles and their posts on Message Boards.
Come on...we know there are others out there that may be attracted to you, but if we're not, we're not. I'm sorry. It's like that even in the straight dating world, guys! That's just life!
For instance, try spell-check, it really works! And proof-reading is great, too! While we don't want to "date" you, we do want to talk to you at some point (either before, during and/or after sex!), so exhibit some level of intelligence.
On the other hand, we've played with couples and single bi-fems that some people may have rejected based on looks only, but I can tell you their attitude and mental sex appeal (not to mention the great sex) far exceeded my expectations. I've always said that the "beautiful" people, or least the ones that think they're "beautiful", are usually the worst in bed, they're high maintenance, high drama, etc. "Beautiful" comes from inside first!
John and Allie of Swingercast
4 comments:
hear hear!
We are not the Barbie and Ken type but are very presentable. that said, you will always find the a$$holes anywhere. We are into swinging (soft as it may be) for many of the same reasons!
Great blog and chat with you guys later.
N&M
You are so right. If you don't click you don't. Too many people think just because you are out in this world you want to have sex with just anybody and it just doesn't work that way.
great blog. If the mental connection is not there you can not force it. When swinging do people ever do it with people that they wouldn't normally share a pizza with just because they are turned on?
to answer Anonymous, well, we can't imagine being turned on by someone that we wouldn't want to share a pizza with. We CAN imagine not being able to finish eating pizza with someone that turned us on...been there, done that! LOL
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