Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Lifestyle = Honesty
Well Danni is feeling better, she slept in until about 10 and by 3 she had called D & M to play tonight.
Danni was so sick yesterday that we actually didn't have sex last night, which is amazingly rare for us. But she was nice enough to hold my hand and watch me as I "serviced" myself. Isn't that what's great about the lifestyle? The honesty!!
Which brings me to the point of today's posting. Honesty, and how the lifestyle allows for the kind of relationship that you never have experienced before.
We were both married before. While I, B, never cheated on my ex (though she thinks I did) our sex life really went downhill as the marriage progressed. And guys, if you're like me, you know what it's like to go a couple of days without shooting a load. After a point, you don't care how or where, you just need to cum.
Well, there's no way that I could have just jerked off in front of her on nights she didn't want to have sex (which eventually became most nights). I also could never mention that a certain woman was cute, or that I had certain desires that I wanted to explore.
With Danni, since we don't have any sexual secrets, there's really no reason to ever lie about anything. If I see a girl that's hot, I can say so. If she sees a girl (or guy) that's hot, she can say so. And we do often. We separate sex from love and understand that wanting variety is healthy and normal.
And if nothing is taboo (at least to talk about) then we can explore anything we like, and not do things that we aren't interested in.
Honesty is the one thing, though, that we find many couples don't seem to understand about the lifestyle.
Let me give you an example of honesty in the lifestyle. When you say you want to play with a couple and set up plans, you either show up, or call to cancel. We're amazed at the number of couples that will talk with Danni via phone and set up a time and place, and then don't show. We actually had a newbie couple that IM'd us today that had blown us off. When we reminded them that we had plans and they were a "no-show", they said "oh, well it got really late, and since we made our plans so last minute (that afternoon)...we didn't bother to call...sorry to offend."
Danni here...I decided to add my 2 cents! We tried to explain that we weren't offended but just trying to educate them on proper protocol. We're real people, just like them. They wouldn't do that to their non-swinging friends nor would they appreciate having the same done to them. Not sure we got through to them, though. Unfortunately, we see that a lot with lifestyle couples. Not sure what makes people think that good social skills should be thrown out the window in the lifestyle. Or else, they never learned them in the first place.
Well, have to run for now....D & M are on their way over, after D shaves! LOL Doesn't want to cut anyone! xoxo, Danni (&B)