Hitchhiker's Guide to the G-Spot
If you diligently followed the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Clit, hopefully you’ve successfully located the elusive clitoris and are using this discovery to your advantage. (Duh!) While conquering the clitoris a major accomplishment for any man, the clit is only the tip of the iceberg (pun intended) when it comes to exploring the female genitalia. Now we’ll take you on a journey into her inner passages, as we go in search of the mysterious and legendary G-spot.
G Is for “God, That Feels Good”
Before we start our journey further into the depths of the female pleasure palace, let us give you a little background on the G-spot and why it is considered a prime destination. Discovery of the G-spot is attributed to sex researcher Dr. Ernest Grafenberg (G-spot is short for Grafenberg spot). Of course, women have always had G-spots, but until Grafenberg’s studies of female orgasm in the 1950s, apparently no one was paying attention or realized there was a certain place in the vagina that when stimulated, made women come, and come hard.
The G-spot is sort of the female equivalent of the prostate gland in males. In women, this structure is called the urethral sponge, and like the prostate, it surrounds a portion of the urethra before it exits the body. In men, the prostate is stimulated by pressing on the anterior (front) wall of the rectum. In women, it can be reached from within the vagina. And just as stimulating the prostate can enhance orgasm and ejaculation for men, stimulating the G-spot can greatly boost orgasm for the woman, creating a more intense climax, and in some cases, female ejaculation.
Get the Feel for It
Part of the reason the G-spot is so hard to find is that you can’t see it. You have to feel it, and even then, you have to seek it out under the right conditions. It’s located about two inches inside the vaginal canal, on the upper (front) surface of the vaginal wall. The G-spot gets engorged and enlarged when a woman is sexually excited, so it is easiest to find it once your woman is already turned on. It’s also not really sensitive to stimulation until a woman is already aroused, so there’s no point in poking at it until you get her primed a bit first. (Amen!) Here’s where your expert knowledge of the clitoris, gained from your previous reading, will come in handy. Work her clit, and get her wet and ready before you go diving in for the G.
To locate the G-spot, turn your palm upward to face the ceiling and insert two fingers into her vagina. Feel the upper surface of the vaginal wall for a rough-feeling bump about the size of a half a walnut. The surface here may feel kind of ridged, like the roof of your mouth just behind your front teeth. If you insert your fingers all the way into her vagina, then bend them slightly like you’re beckoning someone towards you and start to pull them out, your fingertips should bump right into and come to rest on the G-spot. It should feel firm, but a little squishy.
Put the Pressure On
The G-spot responds to firm pressure, not light petting. Once you find it, you have to dig in and really rub on it. Slow, deep, steady strokes are best. Before you put any heavy pressure on the G-spot, spread your fingers apart slightly. Imagine a clock face around the vagina, with the clit at high noon. Position your fingers so they correspond to 11 o’clock and 1 o’clock. The urethra is directly in line with the 12 o’clock position, so you don’t want to put hard pressure on that, because it can cause irritation and discomfort. Stimulating the G-spot will often initially produce a feeling of needing to urinate. This is normal, and you’ll know you’re pressing on the right area when she tells you she feels like she has to pee. In fact, it’s a good idea to have her empty her bladder before you begin, so she can relax and this won’t be a concern.
Note: see Seymour Butts for...
To stroke the G-spot, hook the fingers upward and pull towards you. This should move the G-spot into contact with the pubic bone. The G-spot will then be compressed between the pubic bone and your fingers. Slide your fingers out part way, keeping firm pressure against the spot. As you slide your fingers back in, nudge against the G-spot with the flat part of your fingers.
Don’t poke at it with your fingertips. Repeat the “come here” motion with your fingers as you stroke in and out. Another way to stimulate the G-spot is to do a gentle squeeze-and-release massage. Locate the G-spot and compress it against the inside of the pubic bone as described above. Then use your fingers to press and release the spot rhythmically, “milking” it. You can also keep steady pressure on the spot and slowly rock your fingers back and forth, pulling them toward you slightly, then moving them away from you. Try a few different strokes and see what elicits the best response.
Bringing It All Together
Although massaging the G-spot can greatly intensify a woman’s orgasm, G-spot stimulation alone is usually not enough to make her come. For this reason, it’s important to maintain some kind of clitoral stimulation while you’re working on her G. You can do this with your thumb, with your other hand, with your mouth, or you can have her touch her own clit while you focus on exploring her inner passage. Having her touch herself may be the best option when you’re starting out, since it takes a bit of skill and concentration to coordinate stroking her G-spot and petting her clit at once.
As you’re pressing on her G-spot and her arousal builds, it should feel slightly different to her than clitoral stimulation alone. The feelings may seem deeper and more intense. The feeling of having to pee should go away, and be replaced by a pleasurable warmth and an urgency to climax. When she comes, the orgasm may be much stronger than what she usually experiences. Don’t be surprised if her whole body writhes and contracts with sweet convulsions of ecstasy.
Making Her Squirt
Also, don’t be surprised if you find a big damp spot on the sheets. It doesn’t mean she wet the bed (although she probably did complain of feeling like she had to pee).
Stimulating a woman’s G-spot can lead to female ejaculation, a gush of fluid produced by the glands around the G-spot area that you’ve been pressing on. Stroking the G-spot gets these glands engorged and primed, and the longer you stroke, the juicier they get. When she comes, the contractions can force those fluids out. Because the liquid comes out of the urethra, there has been some controversy over whether female ejaculation is a real phenomenon, or if it’s just urine that’s getting expelled during orgasm. However, researchers who have analyzed female ejaculatory fluid say it’s different than urine, although it may include a small amount of urine if there is a residual amount in the urethra at the time of ejaculation.
When you first begin to explore the G-spot, you don’t have to make female ejaculation a goal. It’s not likely to happen the first time, but as you become more familiar with the G-spot and how to stimulate it, you can work up to trying for an ejaculation. The trick is to prolong the stimulation as long as possible before she climaxes, to really get the juices primed. If the glands are really swollen, she may feel like she is going to pee as she climaxes. Tell her to just let it go and bear down and push out with her pelvic muscles. This will help release and expel the built up fluids. It’s a good idea to put a towel under her beforehand to soak up the wetness, and it will make her less worried about having an accident.
Hitting the Spot
Once you’ve located the G-spot manually and have an idea of where it is inside her, you can experiment with stimulating it in other ways, like with dildos and vibrators, or with your penis during intercourse. Probably the best sex position for hitting the G-spot her on top riding you, which lets her control the angle of penetration for maximum contact with the G. Another good position is doggy style. When you’re penetrating her from behind, remember to angle down slightly, toward her front, to press against the G-spot.
Including the G-spot in sex takes a little extra effort and concentration, so you probably won’t want to seek out her special zone for every session. ("Show & Tell" is fun at parties, though!) But when you do, brace yourself for bed-shaking, teeth-rattling, digging-her-fingernails-into-your-back climaxes. You’ll both be rewarded by the work that goes into finding her G-spot and waking it up…although the neighbors may not appreciate it when her orgasmic screaming wakes them up.